1. Date a boy who makes you happy, but marry him only if he makes you laugh deep-belly rumbles that hurt your ribs as they expand outwards. Date him when he sees that you’re hurting and he gives you a moment to feel that pain like a handprint spreading across your consciousness, marry him only if he can make you smile even while you’re gross sobbing. The world is not a kind place. You will feel a lot of pain. Make sure you are with someone who makes it all bearable. Humor is an excellent gauge of intelligence. Life gets boring. Find someone who makes the banal interesting.
2. Make sure he has scars on the back of his hands, it’s a good sign he has experience either fighting or making things - creation is an act of selflessness and bruised knuckles are a good sign he knows how to defend himself. You’ve got too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. If he’s never thrown a punch, let him at least have tasted the insanity of bringing an idea into existence. Rough palms are better than soft ones, they have been salted by this earth and made into leather. Callouses are evidence he has lived, that he has broken skin and been in pain over and over and over again and still came back to the source of it. People rub against each other. Don’t marry him if he can’t handle even a little blister.
3. Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.
4. Trust your instincts. If he ever makes you feel unsafe, don’t make excuses, just get up and leave. That’s all there is to it. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
5. If he puts money before you, he’ll keep pushing you to the bottom of the pile until you become his last priority. It’s one thing if he can’t afford what you want, it’s another if he has the cash but won’t spring for a box of Chicken McNuggets. Money and love are arch enemies. 62% of divorces occur due to economic strain. Make sure keeping you is more important than his 401k.
6. How a man treats animals is a good indicator of how he treats children. If you see him raise a hand to a dog, pack your things into a little black bag. Animals at their worst are only half as annoying as a toddler on their best behavior. Your kids will be beautiful, but they will also misbehave. Same goes for waiters and hotel maids - if he’s rude to those who are working for minimum wage, it says a lot about how he sees himself. Patience is rare and so important. If he’s not forgiving to a dog, he’s not good for your kids.
7. If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you. You are my little girl and you were born perfect. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss. There is someone who thinks your flaws power his heart. Be strong. If he asks you to change, be like like rock of your birthstone, do not waver. You are wondrous just the way that you are."My father’s recipe for the man I should marry (part 1/2 of a series). /// r.i.d (via letlooselove)
I’m actually nobody’s first choice and let me tell you how great that feels
1. Sometimes it’s going to hurt. You’re going to sit on the floor screaming at the ceiling and pulling your hair and trying to tear your skin off your bones. You’re going to fall asleep with tears burning holes in your cheeks and praying that you won’t wake up. But you will. You will always wake up. Be glad. It’s going to stop hurting.
2. Do things you love. Kiss the boy from down the street because he told your best friend that he thinks you have pretty eyes. Sleep on the floor because your bed doesn’t fit right. Cry because you miss him. Smile because you’re gonna be okay but he’s always gonna be a mess. Laugh until your stomach hurts and you can’t breathe. Fall apart and put yourself back together again.
3. When the boy you love gets drunk and kisses another girl and his words hit you right in the heart and knock the wind out of your chest, try to remember that the world isn’t caving in on you even though it feels like it is.
4. Nothing really matters as much as you think it does.
5. The sky is blue because it’s sad, but the clouds are white because there are still little wisps of hope flying around in the air and sometimes they fill the whole damn sky and that’s how you know it’s all going to be alright.
6. When you were born, I put a barbed wire fence around your heart for protection. Any boy who gets in there is gonna have scraped up knees and blood pouring from his hands. If he sticks around, help him clean up the cuts.
7. When you’re convinced that there’s nothing left inside you, remember that you’ve got the entire galaxy under your tongue and the world in your bones. There are flowers growing from your cheeks, sometimes you just need to water them a little, crying helps.
8. When someone says they love you, believe it, chances are they mean it.
9. Don’t waste your time crying over people who hurt you. You’re giving in. You’re letting them win. And baby if they don’t have you then they’ve already lost, so don’t let them have the satisfaction of breaking you.
10. Try not to grow up too fast."10 things my mother taught me when I turned 13 (via extrasad)